My name is Maria, and it is my pleasure to share my story with each and every one of you.
In the summer of 2016, I went through a very hard and incomprehensible situation. I went through a time of a lot of anger and I took it out with the weakest, my children. I can clearly remember a specific day that I felt so angry that I decided to leave home to avoid hurting my children in a serious way.
I took my car and drove to Red River Park in which I cried a lot and spoke with God. I remember very clearly that I told him: “If you are going to do something in my life, you have to do it now!”
My anger and frustration was so strong that I thought, “who am I to speak to God in this way?!” After a while I thought it was not fair that I was there and my children at home, so I decided to return home, take my children, and go back to Red River Park with me. I returned home and found that my son had not taken out the trash like I had asked him to do which made me even more angry.
I took the TV remote and threw it at the wall, making a hole in it. I remember that I put my hands on my head and went to sit by the bathroom door. In less than 5 minutes someone knocked on my front door. I wiped my eyes and went to open the door and two gentlemen, who were inviting people to their church, were there. I remember saying to them: “I need you to pray for me,” they prayed for me and I explained what had happened and one of them said that in his church they could help me, that they have Biblical counseling.
Looking back at it, I now see how fast and how amazing God works. After a few days, I contacted them and found help. I spent about 18 months receiving their counseling in which God used them.
If you are going through a difficult time in your life and you think there is no way out and you cannot change and you have no hope, let me tell you that there is hope and an exit to your problems when you turn to the only one who can help you – Jesus. Jesus says: “I am the truth, the way and the life.” He says, “you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” He helped me to know the truth behind the anger that was in me and made me free.
EMAIL INTERVIEW, March 2019
DAVE BENDER: What was the hardest thing you were facing?
MARIA: At the time, I was struggling with severe anger.
DAVE: Who is God to you now compared to back then?
MARIA: I used to think that He was a God of authority (that he was mean) and could not see that He is a God of love, now I can call him Daddy.
DAVE: You said, “God healed my heart.” What do you mean by that?
MARIA: I used to feel very strong oppression in my heart and always full of anger. Now I no longer feel it.
DAVE: What helped you most in counseling?
MARIA: I learned to mourn to my babies that I aborted, I never did that before, not even thought I had to do it. I forgive those who have hurt me and forgive myself for what I did.
DAVE: How are you different now than before counseling?
MARIA: I used to scream at my children and take out my anger with them, now I no longer do that. Now I take the time to talk to them so I know what they are going through instead of screaming at them.
DAVE: You mentioned to me that this study (Rid of My Disgrace) helped you. How?
MARIA: With this book I learned what sexual abuse is. That it was not my fault, although I felt that it was. That the abuse that happened to me does not define the person who I am now, that was only part of me.
DAVE: What would you say to anyone who is considering counseling?
MARIA: If you are going through a difficult time in your life and you think there is no way out and you cannot change and you have no hope, let me tell you that there is hope and an exit to your problems when you turn to the only one who can help you – Jesus.